I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
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omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
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I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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