forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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