apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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