this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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