...so i touched it.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
YAS. BRING CRAB.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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