the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
