All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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