Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
