We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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