Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize