moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
