did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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