if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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