I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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