Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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