Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
