just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
