Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
me + whiskey = a bad person
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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