dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
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I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
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I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I am mentally ready for anal.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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