Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
