No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
