You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
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She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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