So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
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