So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize