who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
