we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
