some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
The air was thick with penises
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Floor bacon is actually really good
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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