So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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