OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
