You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize