okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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