I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
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