No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
