Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
it glows. i had to have it.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
