She said her name was "party"
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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