I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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