The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
