after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
