Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
