please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
