ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
