So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
