Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
