I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
