So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
