my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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