i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
