I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
