Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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