i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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