recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
