Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
