Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
