I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
