Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
