Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
