i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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