do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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