...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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