talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
