when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
